the other side of the camera

When Bennett was 11 days old, we had the pleasure of having our family photos done by the ridiculously talented Shelby Brakken Photography. She came all the way up from Portland to shoot us in our home. We were so lucky!! Yesterday the wait for our images was over. I was so insanely excited to go through them. I immediately fell in love with so many of them and I oohed and ahhed over them with my husband…and then four or five times on my own. I shared with my mom who was up for a visit. She oohed and ahhed too.

But as much as I loved them, I couldn’t completely silence the overly critical voice we all seem to use to look at images of ourselves. Wow, look at my messy hair. (Who cares that I barely had time to shower, let alone do something with it.) I look so disheveled! (…It couldn’t possibly be because I had just gotten done feeding my little boy with milk made by my own body.) Gosh, my belly looks huge! (Forget that I gained 37lbs growing another human being.) Wow, my posture is terrible. (It doesn’t matter that I was still healing from having an almost 9lb baby tear up my body.)

But guess what? Bennett doesn’t look like these images anymore. He’s growing so quickly. His daddy goes back to work in a week and a half. The rhythm of our days is changing. The time we have to sit and stare and him for hours, talking about every little movement and sound he makes is almost over. I’ll have the business to take care of on top of taking care of Bennett and as much household stuff as I can. Daddy will be back in the office. And then one day Bennett will sleep in his own room instead of in a bassinet right next to me. And then he’ll eat solid foods instead of only breast milk. And eventually he won’t count on me for every last one of his needs anymore. And when all that changes, what will I have left of this time? The memories. And these photos.

So this is my reminder to you that when you’re not feeling your best, you just might be living some of the best moments of your life. And maybe, just maybe, how you look isn’t the important part. Maybe how he looks at you is. And how you feel when you hold him. And how he’ll feel later in life when he sees these images and the love in your eyes. Maybe the story is the important part. How your life together is unfolding. This is my reminder to you to capture all of those moments. No matter how you feel.

I will always cherish these images of us with our sweet little 11 day old boy.

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Thank you again to the ever so talented Shelby Brakken! We love our photos so so much!!!